The Recycling Bin

At first I was skeptical of this family. You will soon see why.

I had been seeking a nanny job. I was pondering what to do at this point in my life. I decided that I would like to nanny again and really be a part of someone’s family. I love and cherish watching the infants in my life grow and reach developmental milestones. I perused Sittercity, a website I thoroughly recommend for caretakers and families, and came across this family who seemed relatively normal on “paper.” I applied! At the time, the baby was 5 months. After speaking to the mom for the first time on the telephone..a phone call which lasted well over an hour, I was a bit apprehensive. She outed herself as a type A personality. She did not have to verbalize that. It was relatively clear! I wondered if I should just hang up the phone, act natural,pretend we had a bad connection and change my email address. I am an all or nothing kind of girl… move on to the next family. She was a little intense and I was scared…but then again, I am also an intense person, I rationalized. I chalked it up to being a first time mom. We decided we should meet. We had a time and day all picked out.

I was pretty excited to meet this potential lunatic. I figure people could say that about me, so I didn’t want to judge right away. No, really, ask my friends. My ADHD provides me with a perfect lunatic persona.

It was a very hot and very sweaty sort of day in August. At the time I did not have a car so I was T-ing it to her home. I got off the last bus and tried to get my bearings. I was sweating like you could only read about! I knew the area pretty well; plus I had my phone’s fabulous technology and was rocking the walking GPS function! Each time my phone’s GPS voice told me I had arrived at my destination, I knew it was not the destination. There was an old shack with a huge cross on the front. Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something? Should I try church again? Damn! I hope this is not a sign. The brush in the front was overgrown. Perfect for a creeper to hide out. I had seen many Datelines and 20/20 episodes where people suddenly vanish and are never seen or heard from again. I knew this could not be the house. My wandering mind thought… should I knock on the door? Should I get my attack whistle ready? Wait…crap…I don’t have an attack whistle. Maybe this was a serial killer posing as a family? The lunacy continued in my mind. I double checked the email that the mom had sent to me with the address. I called her up and she described the condos that they lived in. I could vaguely see it up ahead. I figured that the, gasp, sometimes flawed GPS technology had led me astray. I didn’t think I was going to die anymore. Thank God because I was starting to sweat even more in the summer heat and bright sunshine! I trudged along. Past some shady areas on Trenchcoat Rowe, where all of the most shady characters in Massachusetts seem to take up residence. I walked along and saw the beautiful green condo in the distance. It was beautiful, yet surrounded by all sorts of bizarre lots, auto body shops, alleys, and such. I counted the empty nip bottles on my walking journey to their home. There were so many I lost count. I love the greater Metro Boston area! So many paradoxes!

I arrived and there it was in the distance. On the front was a giant 80. She had given me the wrong address…sigh.  She had typed 40. Is this an omen? Again my paranoid mind continued to obsess as sweat came was dripping off my body. .

I traveled up the elevator and as I am getting off and turning the corner, the mom is waiting. I already was extremely frustrated at her for the wrong address. And now she was standing there looking all cute and skinny and pretty. She was in this cute little summer skirt and super friendly…. hmmmm

They had just moved from Cali back to Boston. The place was pretty chaotic, so I was empathizing how hard that must have been for them to move across country with an infant in tow. I looked into the little pink padded “play yard” and there was one of the cutest little muffins! She was just hanging out and playing and had a comb over type of infant ‘do. The mom of the mom, who I shall call Granny was sitting in there with her.I said hi, she seemed disinterested.

A few interesting things that I noted right away. Although this mom looked nothing like me (she kind of looked like a little Mariah Carey) I did notice that she had the same tattoo as I did! Right on the top of her foot she had a daisy! I have one too, a bit smaller, but basically the same thing. She also had piercings in her ear, more non-traditional ones, like I had. She was a true hippie at heart. Like I am! I immediately started feeling less nervous, less sweaty and more confident in speaking about myself, my qualifications and asking important questions.

We ended up chatting for almost an hour and a half. It was interesting, funny, and concerning all at once. She definitely had my sense of humor. We talked about the “sleep training” concept and how she was able to develop an ideal schedule for the baby through this proven method. I was fascinated as I had heard some feedback on this model and it was highly successful. In fact, the baby was on a three nap/day schedule and slept completely through the night for 12 hours. Bananas! Wouldn’t every parent in the universe want that? Then she told me, excitedly, that when she decided on the nanny to hire, if she was unable to conform to and respect her baby’s sleep schedule she would have to kill them and their entire family .. even their high school boyfriends, she said with an odd laugh. Obviously she was joking, but that was definitely something that I thought was an odd first meeting sort of conversation. I didn’t know how to respond, except laugh. It was actually sort of funny..in a way that I cannot really explain. I got the point.

We continued to chat. Just as I was getting ready to leave and processing her thought-provoking family killing spree, she was saying that it was nice to have someone respond to her posting in a personal way and not just a generic response. You know…such as “Hi Family..I am interested in your position.” I addressed her personally and her needs in my application. She also appreciated that I responded to her scheduling needs and that I applied knowing that my schedule would meet her needs.

She then shared with me that one night while perusing applications (and admittedly after some wine) she came across a potential nanny saying that she would love to work for them except she could only do certain days and certain hours (which did not meet the schedule requirements of said position.) The mom, with a straight face and soon-to-be sarcastic undertones, said that she replied something to the effect of:

“I think you may be a good fit for our family. For the times needed that you are unable to do I guess I will just take the baby to work and put her in the recycling bin for the day.”

She laughed and I laughed. This woman is interesting, I thought. I kind of like her though. I liked her honestly and sense of humor. A little twisted, but honest nevertheless. I was hired almost immediately!

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2 thoughts on “The Recycling Bin

  1. Well I think is some ways we are all a little crazy. I just think we are each crazy in our own ways! If you were ever the nanny to my daughter you would really have a lot of material to write in your blog about!!

    Like

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